Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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