i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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