we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
