i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Its about making memories worth repressing
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
