guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
