that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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