pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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