Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
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