D3 body, D1 cock
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Did I show you my penis last night?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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