You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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