Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just had sex bonerless
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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