what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
