Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
