nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
