Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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