He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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