I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
