Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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