Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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