No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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