I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just forgot I was standing up.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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