Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
