Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower

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(646): View more from New York

They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!

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(970): View more from Colorado

my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned

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(713): View more from Texas

We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight

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(541): View more from Oregon

There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"

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(562): View more from California

I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.

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