I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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