We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
