Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
