she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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