What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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