How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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