I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
is wine microwaveable?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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