Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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