he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
