Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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