1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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