So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
