I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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