I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
