I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
