Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
