can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF