I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
