My liver just broke up with me...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
