sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
