are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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