i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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