Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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