hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
