After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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