do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
