people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
