We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
