P.S. I can't hear my feet
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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