It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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