He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
