just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
