I CAN MOONWALK!
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
