New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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