Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
